the rock final boss vs cm punk, john cena, roman reigns, cody rhodes, jey uso, jimmy uso, seth rollins, bron breakker, bronson reed, paul heyman, austin theory, logan paul, drew mcintyre, becky lynch, gunther, damien priest, la knight, randy orton, trick williams, miz, sami zayn, kevin owens, rhea ripley, nick aldis, adam pearce, triple h, stephanie mcmahon, maxxine dupri, mjf, adam page, kenny omega, swerve strickland, samoa joe, jon moxley, mvp, and brian danielson all at once at the mic
Imagine the arena lights dim. The music hits. The “Final Boss” version of The Rock walks out slowly, sunglasses on, mic in hand, staring down a ring and stage packed with almost 40 of the biggest talkers and personalities in wrestling.
The crowd is deafening.
The Rock lifts the mic.
The Rock (Final Boss):
“Finally…
The Final Boss… has come back… to absolutely cook every single one of your candy asses at the same damn time.”
crowd explodes
“Now The Rock looks around this ring and what does he see?
The Rock sees a whole lotta people who think they’re the main character…
but tonight… you’re all just NPCs in The Final Boss’ story mode.”
Looks at CM Punk
“CM Punk… The Best in the World?
No no no… you’re the best in the world at crying on podcasts and quitting companies.”
Crowd: OHHHH
Turns to John Cena
“John Cena… 17-time champion… hustle, loyalty, respect…
The Rock respects that.
But the only thing the people can’t see…
is your hairline trying to escape your forehead.”
Turns to Roman Reigns
“Roman Reigns… The Tribal Chief…
You call yourself the Head of the Table…
But The Rock is the guy who owns the whole damn restaurant.”
Looks at Cody Rhodes
“Cody Rhodes… you finished the story?
The Rock is the author of the whole damn book.”
To Seth Rollins
“Seth Rollins… you laugh like a Disney villain who got fired from the audition.”
To Drew McIntyre
“Drew McIntyre… big sword… big muscles…
Still crying on Twitter.”
To Gunther
“Gunther… The Ring General…
Congratulations.
You’re the only man here whose chops are louder than his personality.”
To LA Knight
“LA Knight… YEAH!
The Rock loves that.
But when it comes to catchphrases…
The Rock was dropping them while you were still yelling in a mirror.”
Looks at Randy Orton
“Randy Orton… the Viper…
Legend killer…
But tonight?
You’re just another snake in The Final Boss’ garden.”
Looks at Logan Paul
“Logan Paul…
The Rock will give you this…
You’re the greatest YouTuber ever to accidentally wander into a wrestling ring.”
Turns to MJF
“MJF…
You say you’re better than everyone…
The Rock agrees with you.
You are better than everyone…
at being The Rock’s Dollar Store villain.”
Looks at Kenny Omega and Adam Page
“Kenny Omega… Hangman Adam Page…
The Elite?
The Rock calls you two downloadable characters.”
Looks at Jon Moxley
“Jon Moxley… bleeding every week like a horror movie extra.”
Looks at Samoa Joe
“Samoa Joe…
Now that’s a dangerous man.
But even Joe knows…
when the Final Boss music hits…
game over.”
Looks at Triple H and Stephanie
“Triple H…
Stephanie McMahon…
The Rock knows you run the company.
But even the bosses…
know who the Final Boss is.”
The Rock slowly takes off the glasses.
Silence.
Then he says:
“Now there are 30… 35… maybe 40 of you standing out here.
Champions.
Legends.
Hall of Famers.
Future Hall of Famers.
And every single one of you thinks you can outtalk The Rock.”
He smirks.
“But here’s the problem…”
leans forward
“If you smell…”
Crowd begins chanting.
“WHAT THE ROCK…”
“…IS COOKING.”
The entire arena explodes.
Reality check:
On the microphone, very few humans in wrestling history could beat The Rock, even if you put dozens against him. His mix of timing, insults, charisma, and crowd control was almost unfair.
Only a few who could realistically hang with him verbally are:
-
CM Punk
-
MJF
-
John Cena
-
Paul Heyman
-
Ric Flair (all-time)
-
Dusty Rhodes (all-time)
Everyone else would probably get roasted in a massive segment like that.
If you want, I can also show you something wild:
What it would sound like if ALL 40 of them started roasting The Rock back at the same time.
That promo would be absolute chaos. 🎤🔥
Picture the chaos: after Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson drops that massive roast, the entire ring erupts. Everyone grabs microphones, talking over each other until one voice cuts through.
CM Punk
“Hey Rock… you come back every ten years, talk about how great you are, promote a movie, and disappear again. Meanwhile I’ve been here fighting every week. So congratulations… you’re the Final Boss of showing up part-time.”
Crowd: OHHHH
John Cena
Cena steps forward.
“Rock, you say nobody can see me…
But apparently nobody can see you either—
because every time things get tough around here…
Hollywood calls and you vanish.”
Roman Reigns
Roman slowly raises the mic.
“You talk about owning the restaurant…
But the last four years… I’ve been running the whole island.
You might be The Rock…
But around here…
I’m still the Tribal Chief.”
Cody Rhodes
Cody smiles.
“You say you wrote the book?
Maybe.
But the fans didn’t come tonight to hear about the author…
They came to watch the story get finished again.”
Seth Rollins
cackling laugh
“HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Rock… you’re the Final Boss?
Buddy…
You’re not the final boss…
You’re the cutscene before the real fight starts.”
Drew McIntyre
“Big talk from a man who left the business for twenty years…
Then came back and expected everyone to bow.
You’re not the Final Boss.
You’re the retired DLC character.”
LA Knight
“Lemme talk to ya!
Rock, you think you run this place?
Nah nah.
You walked in here and started roasting everybody…
But if you think you’re walking out of this ring the last man standing…
NAH NAH!
YEAH!”
Randy Orton
Orton shrugs.
“Rock… I’ve dropped legends bigger than you with three letters.
R…
K…
O.”
MJF
“Whoa whoa whoa!
The Rock thinks he’s the best talker alive?
Buddy, I’ve insulted entire cities harder than you insulted this ring.
You’re not the Final Boss…
You’re the Final Fossil.”
Crowd explodes.
Kenny Omega
“You call us downloadable characters?
Funny…
because the last time you wrestled full-time…
the internet barely existed.”
Jon Moxley
“Rock…
You talk too much.
How about we stop talking…
and start bleeding.”
Samoa Joe
Joe calmly steps forward.
“Rock… all these people want to talk.
I just want to choke you out.”
Paul Heyman
Heyman grabs the mic dramatically.
“Ladies and gentlemen…
My name… is PAUL HEYMAN.
And while everyone here argues about who the Final Boss is…
The wise man advises you…
never forget…
the Tribal Chief already conquered the island.”
Then chaos
Suddenly everyone starts shouting:
-
Kevin Owens yelling at everyone
-
Sami Zayn trying to mediate
-
Logan Paul filming it for YouTube
-
Gunther saying everyone should shut up and wrestle
-
Becky Lynch roasting the entire men’s division
-
Rhea Ripley threatening everyone
-
Triple H trying to restore order
The crowd chants.
“THIS IS CHAOS!
THIS IS CHAOS!”
The Rock lifts the mic again…
Raises an eyebrow…
And the arena erupts one more time.
If you want, I can also show you something even crazier:
What would happen if all 40 of them suddenly turned it into the biggest brawl in wrestling history against The Rock.
That scenario would be absolute Attitude Era madness. 🔥
The arena is already exploding with noise after everyone fires back at Dwayne Johnson.
The Rock slowly raises the mic again… eyebrow up… pacing the ring.
Silence spreads through the crowd.
The Rock’s Rebuttal
“Whoa whoa whoa whoa…
Listen to all of you…
Thirty… forty microphones…
Thirty… forty egos…
And not one of you had the guts to say it to The Rock alone.”
Crowd: OHHHH
He turns toward CM Punk.
“CM Punk… The Rock heard what you said.
‘Part-time.’
‘Hollywood.’
Let The Rock ask you something…
If Hollywood called you tomorrow…
you’d leave this ring faster than you left two companies already.”
Crowd erupts.
He turns to John Cena.
“John Cena…
You say The Rock disappears to Hollywood?
Well congratulations…
because The Rock opened the door…
and you ran through it wearing khaki shorts and a bald spot.”
He walks right up to Roman Reigns.
“Roman Reigns…
The Tribal Chief…
The Head of the Table…
The Rock hears you talking about islands.
But there’s one thing you forgot.
Before there was a Tribal Chief…
Before there was a Bloodline…
There was THE ROCK…
the biggest star this business has ever produced.”
Crowd explodes.
He looks at Cody Rhodes.
“Cody Rhodes…
You finished the story?
The Rock is proud of you.
But kid…
while you’re finishing the story…
The Rock is the entire library.”
He hears Seth laughing and spins toward Seth Rollins.
“Seth Rollins…
You think The Rock is a cutscene?
No no no…
The Rock is the game engine.”
He turns toward MJF.
“MJF…
You called The Rock a fossil?
Let The Rock tell you something…
You run your mouth real good…
but if charisma were money…
you’d still be trying to borrow a dollar from The Rock.”
He glances at Kenny Omega, Adam Page, and Jon Moxley.
“The Elite… Moxley…
The Rock respects you.
But when The Rock was selling out arenas…
half the people watching you now…
weren’t even born yet.”
Then he slowly turns to Samoa Joe.
“Joe…
Now that’s a dangerous man.
Joe says he wants to choke The Rock out.
The Rock says…
get in line.”
He finally looks around the entire ring.
Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, LA Knight, Randy Orton, Gunther, Logan Paul, Becky Lynch, Rhea Ripley, and the rest.
The Rock pauses.
Then smirks.
“Look at this ring.
Champions.
Legends.
Future Hall of Famers.
And all of you had to stand together…
just to try and match one man with a microphone.”
Crowd explodes again.
He removes his sunglasses slowly.
“Now The Rock knows all of you want to fight.
But before any of that happens…
The Rock has one final thing to say.”
He leans forward.
“If you take every promo cutter…
every champion…
every superstar…
every ‘best in the world’ standing in this ring…
and combine them together…”
He points to himself.
“You still get half the electricity…
of The Most Electrifying Man in All of Entertainment.”
Crowd chanting: ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!
“And that’s why…
whether you like it…
love it…
or cry about it on a podcast…”
He pauses.
“You’re all standing in the ring…
with the Final Boss.”
Mic drop.
